22 sure signs the relationship is over for him (them) (2023)

How to know your relationship is over, falling apart and possibly beyond repair

How do you know your relationship is over beyond repair and that it’s over for her or him (them)?

Maybe you’re here because you think you’re on the verge of a breakup – your partner or spouse has changed. You think it’s over for him, her or them.

Or, perhaps you’re wondering if it’s time to break up becauseyour relationship is failing?

Either way, there are clear signs to look out for that couldsignal the end of your relationship.

Since more women visit my site (75%) than men, here are the six most frequent signs the relationship is over forhim:

  1. He makes little effort to communicate.
  2. He becomes evasive – avoiding anything to do with you.
  3. He pushes you awaywhen you want to get close.
  4. He doesn’t show up when he promised.
  5. He can’t be bothered to be ‘nice’.
  6. He is mean to you.
  7. He blames you for everything.

Welcome, regardless of your gender

Where possible, I intend to use ‘they’ and ‘them’ instead of ‘he’ and ‘she’ in my articles. Instead of ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’, I use ‘partner’.

In my articles about marriage, I use ‘partner’ and ‘spouse’ with occasionally ‘husband’ and ‘wife’. In some, though, I may focus on a specific gender.

I’d like you to feel seen, accepted and welcomed, regardless of gender.

Please bear with me, though. I’m still working through my articles to implement that intent.

Let me help you now to figure out if you’re really in a failing relationship, on the verge of a breakup, or if there is still time to save your relationship.

In this article, you’ll discover:

  • How to know it’s over for him
  • 10 factors that impact the ending
  • 8 warning signs it might be over
  • 14 signs a breakup is on the cards
  • Signs the relationship is over or declining mental health?
  • 4-point immediate action plan.

Reasons for a relationship breakdown

Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. Discover how to save your relationship – hop over to my page: 25 common relationship problems. Follow the links for a ton of relationship tips, information, help and advice.

How to know when a relationship is over for her or him

If a breakup is imminent, it is often the result of repeated periods of unhappiness and/or doubts – either for you, your partner, or both of you.

(Video) The 5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Often these periods of dissatisfaction, irritation,anger, frustration, hurt and disappointment increase in length and happen more frequently. Relationship problems have a habit of piling up!

It’s not unusual for these cycles of ups and downs to continue over months and even years.

However, abreakupcan also happenseeminglyout of the blue. Suddenly, your relationship is over after 5, 7, 20 or even 50 years!

Nevertheless,the ending of a relationshipis always a process with a beginning, a middle and an end. Some breakups may happen more rapidly than others. When you look back, you’ll probably be able to identify those stages.

Statements like “I’m leaving you”,“I want a break”, “I don’t love you anymore” or even “I’m having doubts” are unlikely to have risen out of a ‘sudden’ realisation. Though it might seem like that to you.

Worried your partner is about to break up with you?

Hop over to my article: How to make your partner love you again.

And, just in case, my article: Afraid of commitment.

Normal ups and downs or a relationship on the verge of a breakdown?

Would you be shocked if your partner suddenly told you they don’tlove you anymore? Or would you have seen it coming?

Or, maybeyouhaven’t been honest with your partner about how unhappy and unsure about your future together you’ve been feeling. Perhapsyou‘re the one who’sfalling out of love?

In any case, I know it can be really scary to contemplatea future without the person you loved (or still love).

The word ‘single’ can strike fear into the hearts of many! But, the alternative is to stay in a broken relationship. And while that may not feelasscary, it’swayworse for both of you in the long run.

So, take a deep breath, and let’s take a look together at the most common signs a relationship is over.

(Be sure to also read my articles:Signs your spouse wants to leave youand19 signs your marriage is over.)

What lies behind the signs a relationship is over?

The breakdown of a relationshipoften happens in stages. Each stage has its own signs of a failing relationship. However, the precise nature and length of these stages tend to differ from one couple to another.

Here are the factors that might influence what each stage looks like:

10 factors that impact the ending of a relationship

  1. How committed you were at the start of your relationship – the less committed, the sooner it’s likely to end.
  2. The level of yourcommitment, care and consideration as your relationship grew.
  3. The length and ‘intensity’ of the partnership.
  4. Your personal relationship histories – your attachments and previous endings.
  5. Your life stages and ages – first long-term love, small kids, teenagers, elderly parents, mid-life, etc.
  6. Any significant or traumatic events that might have occurred during the course of your relationship.
  7. Your personalities.
  8. Anyphysical, sexual, financialoremotionalabuse
  9. Any cultural expectations
  10. Familial expectations.
22 sure signs the relationship is over for him (them) (1)

What stage of a relationship breakdown are you at?

Below I’ve listed the stages I’ve seen my clients go through when their relationship was in danger of ending.

(Video) The #1 SIGN That Relationship WON'T LAST & How To End It... | Matthew Hussey

Each stage has its own signs that your relationship is not what it should or could be.

14 common stages of a failing relationship

Signs your relationship is over for her or him

Either one of you could be at a stage whereby you…

  1. Accept that every relationship or marriage has its ups and downs without worrying that it might be failing.
  2. Become aware that what seemed like another ‘dip’ is lasting much longer than usual. There’s still much you can do at this stage. You’ll find all you need to know in my article with healthyrelationship tips and advice.
  3. Attempt another conversation with your partner about how you feel (women tend to do this more often than men).
  4. Contemplate, and perhaps even suggest, couples coaching (I highly recommendyouget some coaching if your partner isn’t interested). You can do that too – online – see my article:Online relationship advice.
  5. Failing that, do consider self-hypnosis with the help of a high-quality download. For further information, see my article:Self-hypnosis FAQ and downloads. Whatever your problem – there’s a download to match.
  6. Make renewed efforts to improve things because you can clearly see thatthe marriage is on the rocks.
  7. Become exhausted and increasingly unhappy because of all the ups and downs. You have sleepless nights from worries about what now seems to be a failing relationship and possibly beyond repair.
  8. Imagine what it would be like toend the relationshipor marriage and be on your own.
  9. Explore solutions to the adverse practical and financial consequences of a breakup.
  10. Make concrete plans in anticipation of a separation when the relationship is over. See also: Signs16 signs your spouse is planning to leave you.
  11. Put off a conversation about ending the relationship or marriage, wondering how to do it.
  12. Pluck up the courage and disclose your intention to seek a separation/divorce.
  13. Attend counselling sessions ‘as a last resort’ (see my article onwhat to expect in marriage counselling).
  14. Decide ultimately: the relationship needs to end as it’s beyond repair. It’s time to break up. (There’s ahypnosis downloadto help you navigate that difficult stage too).

I hope this has given you a better understanding of the stages of a breakup. You now know the first signs a relationship is over.

You may then also be interested inhow to know when to break up.

How to know a relationship is over and he wants to break up

Other relationship issues and signs the relationship is over for him

Whether you’re worried that your partner is about to end your relationship or you’re on the verge of calling it quits, here are some further signs it’s over.

8 warning signs your relationship is in trouble or even beyond repair

  1. You don’t laugh and talk as much as you used to.
  2. One of you is pushing for more commitment than the other wants to give.
  3. One or both of you often feel hurt, let down, frustrated,angry, taken for granted,ignored– or simplybored in your relationship.
  4. You live like ‘brother and sister’, or friends –without passion.
  5. Or,if you do still have a physical relationship, it’s more about ‘going through the motions‘ than making love.
  6. Issues from the past keep coming up without ever getting resolved. See also:42 reasons why couples argue so much.
  7. Something just doesn’t quite gel – emotionally, physically, socially or spiritually – you’re no longercompatible.
  8. Disagreements escalate quickly intofull-blown rowsmore and more often.

If any of these sound familiar to you, your inkling that your relationship is in trouble could be right.

So what else should you be looking out for?

14 signs a breakup could be on the cards

All of the signs in this article are really signs that a relationship may be over and that he perhaps wants to break up, or at least that your partner may no longer be right for you. Your relationship is in trouble, but the signs don’t necessarily need to herald a breakup!

The following can all apply to either you or your partner…

1.Neither of you talk much about personal ‘stuff’

You have little idea what’s going on in each other’s life.

2.Complaints about the same things…

… keep coming up over and over again (see also the 43 reasons why you’re arguing so much and how to stopconstant arguing in a relationship).

3.You can’t come to an understanding

There’s little agreement or compromise when it comes to important issues.

4.Feelings of frustration, anger and hurt increase…

… whenever you try to have meaningful conversations (if you still do!).

5.You’re feeling increasingly depressed

-– if you both feel like this, that’s definitely a warning sign of a breakup because your relationship may be getting beyond repair.

Get a professional therapist to help you

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  • Individual therapy online
  • Couples therapy – online, so very near you
  • 1 live session à 45 min/week (video, voice or text)
  • Unlimited messaging
  • Change therapists with a click of a button
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(Video) 3 Signs the Relationship is Over for Him - Empowered Wife Podcast with Laura Doyle EP# 159

6.You’re slowly withdrawing from each other

You’re no longer confiding in each other or seeking support. You get the feeling that he wants you to leave him alone.

7. One of you wants a break

If your partner says he needs a break, then that is a serious sign your relationship could be ending! He could be ready to break up with you.

8. You’re growing apart

You go out separately more often, stay longer at work and talk very little.

9. One of you is having an affair

If you happen to be the one having an affair, can you be sure your partner isn’t cheating? If they’re being unfaithful – it could definitely be a sign that they are no longer right for you.

10. One of you is acting ‘out of character’

Perhaps you’ve not been acting in the way you normally would. Maybe you’re being more secretive, or your partner has changed towards you and could be up to something they wouldn’t want you to know.

11. You’re arguing ever more frequently

You may even be treating each other with contempt – a sure sign that your relationship is in danger.

12.‘Stonewalling’ is common

Stonewalling is definitely not a good sign in a relationship. Ignoring each other when you’re miffed and pretending the other one doesn’t exist can be a sign of emotional abuse. But, it can also be a sign he wants to break up.

This definitely calls for some good relationship advice!

13.Promises are being broken

– one of you commits to being somewhere but doesn’t turn up or cancels the arrangement.

14.Being ‘nice’ has become too much effort

I’m sure you’ll agree, some of these are pretty obvious signs that your relationship is not as healthy it could be.

If you recognise any them, now’s the time to take action:

  • The best place to start? Talking to each other! If your relationship is on the rocks, a meaningful conversation will help you both figure out if it can still be saved. If communication doesn’t flow freely in your relationship, myLoving Communication Kit for Coupleswill help you make a positive impact today.
  • Alternatively, if you’re struggling to make sense of it all, I highly recommend youconnect with an online professional relationship coach. An outside perspective and some professional guidance can make a huge difference in how you feel and what you do next.
    For further information on how that works, see my article: Online Relationship Advice.

What if you break up – will he ever come back to you?

13 signs he wants to break up with you and he’ll never come back to you:

  1. He continues to ignore your messages, or…
  2. His responses are late and very lacklustre.
  3. He avoids answering the phone.
  4. He avoids meeting you.
  5. He continues to be mean to you.
  6. He has clearly told you he won’t come back.
  7. He’s in a stable relationship with someone else.
  8. He is in a relationship with someone of a different gender.
  9. He was never really committed.
  10. He didn’t want what you wanted.
  11. He hadn’t introduced you to his family.
  12. He hasn’t asked how you are, knowing you won’t let go.
  13. He meets up with joint friends only when you’re not invited.

When is a relationship over?

If you’re not sure youwant to stay in this relationship, my Comprehensive Relationship Testcan help you to make that difficult decision. After that, you’re very likely to be clear about your next step.

That means you need not be dependent on your partner telling you he wants to break up with you. You can be in the driving seat!

You can take control and end your relationship or marriage – if that’s what you decide to do. Or, you could decide that it isworth fighting for. Then you’ll know where to direct your energies!

If you decide you still to try and save the relationship, then please feel free to use this worksheet…

Free printable worksheet

22 sure signs the relationship is over for him (them) (2)
(Video) 7 Signs Someone is Worth Fighting For

Signs your relationship is over, and he wants to break up with you OR a decline in mental health

Some of the signs he wants to break up with youcould indicate deeper emotional and psychological problems – either for you or your partner.

Things that contribute to the end of a relationship can cause signs of depression, an impending nervous breakdown or simply stress.

So, if you’re struggling with an emotional issue (or your partner is), I’d love you to explore my site further. Each article has a ton of detailed information, expert relationship- or mental health advice and savvy tips.

I also recommend you don’t keep struggling on your own. Talk to a trusted person in your social circle or get the professional help you need.

If you are considering breaking up

Youmay decide that it’s time to break up rather than waiting for your partner to call it a day. It may not be worth spending even more time and energy shoring up your relationship. Sometimes relationships just need to be brought to a close.

I’ve got your back – I’d like you to read:

Your 4-point immediate action plan

  1. To help yourself stay calm and cope, I highly recommend you get an expert self-hypnosis audio download. Self-hypnosis is a user-friendly, affordable and – above all – effective way to help you feel better fast. Discover how it can work for you and which specific download would suit you most – see my pageHypnosis FAQ and Downloads.
  2. Discover how you may still be able to save your relationship. Read the following articles:
    How to save a relationship when all seems lost
    How to make someone fall back in love with you
  3. Connect with an online couple’s therapist(opens in a new tab) as soon as possible.
  4. Alternatively, if there really is no hope, take back a measure of control – read my articles:
    How to end a long-term relationship amicably


If you’re worried your relationship could be over, this isn’t the time to stick your head in the sand (trust me!).

You set out to discover if your relationship is over and if he wants to break up with you, therefore I sincerely hope this article is of help to you.

Whatever the outcome – know that you’re much stronger than you think you are – you’ve got this!

Get a professional therapist to help you

Because you’re worthy of reliable help and support.

  • Individual online therapy
  • Online couples therapy
  • 1 live session à 45 min/week (video, voice or text)
  • Unlimited messaging
  • Change therapists with a click of a button
  • Therapy on a secure & confidential platform
  • Three subscription alternatives
  • Cancel or upgrade your subscription at any time.

Click the button and…


(Video) The 3 KEY SIGNS That Relationship Will Last! (How To Find Love) | Lewis Howes & Jay Shetty


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